My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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