no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
