So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
