What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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