We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
