people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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