I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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