He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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