I just made out with a guy for $7.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
