Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
