After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
