We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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