She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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