don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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