I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My vagina is officially offended.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
