You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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