Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
