Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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