Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
