So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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