There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
