We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
