You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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