Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
