Sry I called you an 8
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
