I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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