she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
