her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
