yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
