ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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