he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
