U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She bit a glass in half.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My life is pants optional.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
