i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
