i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
