somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
