Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
