ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
