as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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