i just had sex bonerless
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
