I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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