If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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