erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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