We're facebook friends in real life
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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