is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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