god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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