I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
