WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
