Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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