There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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