Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
