Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
