We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
