If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
